58 Days of Crazy

Log of Jason being gone for 58 days

Day 2: Jason adds "Daddy home" to the grocery list. Mommy doesn't find it funny because there is still 56 more days before Daddy actually comes home.

Day 7: I screamed out loud with my eyes very tightly shut because the bedtime routine can create more frustration with brushing teeth than it can in the whole day combined.

Day 15: I come down with the most horrible GI bug and couldn't even bring the kids to school in the morning. It was an incredibly rough day that took away every ounce of energy I had.

Day 17: rainy and cold. we threw on pajamas the moment we got home from school/work and had cereal and popcorn for dinner while watching a movie. (no fighting, no anger, just cuddling)

Day 18: Despite it finally being a nice day outside, Ava has a horrible cold and Austin got in trouble for not telling Grandpa he was heading to the other side of the neighborhood to play with friends. We are stuck inside again. Kids are in the bath and I'm thinking I might let them play in there until bedtime. They are each safe in their own bathrooms and I can finally sit down in silence for 0.2 seconds.

Day 25: it rained for the umpteen millionth time this month. We are stuck indoors. Even though its really cold and we are all crabby, slurpees make everything all better. so we all got slurpees and there was silence for just a few beautiful moments while we drank our sorrows away.

Day 27: I think we are halfway there. Jason officially booked his plane ticket home for Memorial Weekend. Now Ava just can't wait for 'Mario Day' as she calls it.

Day 28: Ava has had the hardest time with Jason being gone. She has cried until 10pm one night, cried at school one day, and this morning when I asked her if I could get her anything, meaning breakfast, she said 'Daddy!!'

Day 57: I clearly was too flippin busy to keep up with this. Let me give you the gist: There were good days and there were bad days. There were long days and there were ZERO short days. There was a lot of crying and yelling and tears. (both me and the kiddos). There was a lot of prayer for patience. There was a lot of rain which didn't help but when there was sunny days, you best believe we spent every minute outdoors. I relaxed when it came to meal time, meaning I didn't press the kids to eat every single bite or fret that we weren't eating the best of meals. I didn't push for a bath every night when there wasn't time. Some nights I took a little too long in one of the other kid's bedrooms putting that one to bed, knowing the other one was going to fall asleep any minute. I left the dishes for my dad. He came by every day to do them (what a dedicated and awesome Grandpa right!?) I bought the kids extra little stuff here and there to keep them happy and keep me insane in whichever store we were in. I barely watched T.V. at all. Maybe 2 hours total this entire time. Ain't nobody got time for that (Sweet Brown reference for those of you living in a hole).

Thanking God Jason comes home tomorrow. I only had to fill up my tires with air two times. The first time scared the pants off me that Jason had to walk me through turning on the compressor and making me stay in the garage which made me about pee my pants due to noise and my paranoia about things blowing up. The 2nd time was much easier on my nerves. The front hose needed a new spigot maybe but thankfully a neighbor helped in the meantime until Jason was gonna be home next. I think nothing else needed fixing. I squashed all the bugs without complaining. I ate toddler food. I stayed up late and got up early but I'm not so sure that's anything new.

Oh and the Frisbee Jason bought for the kids, flew up on the roof and there's no way in God's green earth I would get up there and get it. That's all. Our paper chain is down to one link. And I think a tear is falling down my face from pure exhaustion of trying to do it all and pure joy from the fact that this is over. Nothing compared to those women that have to endure many more months or past a year to wait, but I've done that before and thankfully our time is over. For now.

Austins First T-ball Game

Some of you may remember that last year Austin was signed up for T-ball. He went to all the practices and unfortunately the week before his first game, he jumped off a high area and fell in such a way to break his collar bone. Being the highly educated medical professional that I am, I made him wait a whole week before getting an x-ray. Sure enough, broken clavicle. Darn it. No games for Austin.

This year, we looked forward to t-ball with even more anticipation. He went to all the practices and an extra baseball clinic to get ready. His first game was this last Saturday. (oops, wrote this blog post quite a few weeks ago and now it's almost time for his last game!!)

He was all smiles. He put on his uniform and hat and was very excited. I was ecstatic as well. These are my first moments of cheering on your little one. Proud parent moment for sure.

Austin was put on first base right away in the first inning and actually stopped the ball when it came his way. Impressive to me right? Like every time he stops it, I shout.

 And even though the ball is on the tee and they get as many hits as they want, he hits it and I shout again. 'Way to go Austin!" "That's my buddy!" And it continues, 'great job' , 'good stop!',  On and on and I could have cared less if any of the other parents thought I was annoying. Another reason we brought our own chairs and didn't sit in the bleachers. I don't want to blow anyone's ear drums. Ava sat in between Grandma and I, and she was also an awesome cheerleader. She shouted "yay Austin' in between large bites of Big League Chew bubble gum. She ate more candy in one sitting than I did. And that's impressive.

Grandpa continued to check on Austin in the dug out. He brought him Gatorade, made sure he had on the right helmet at the right time, and bugged the coaches. Not surprised that at one point they told my Dad to go sit down. (I can't stop laughing as I type this). That's my Dad!!

I know one thing and that's the fact that I have a strong feeling about not wanting to miss out on many of his games. I don't want to miss out on seeing those smiles. I don't want to miss one opportunity where I get to be my kid's biggest cheerleader. I don't want to miss his first home run, or his first big catch that wins the game. I want him to stare right at me when he runs into home base. I want him to see my face and know that I am right there.

This easily hits me right in the throat. I have instant tears in my eyes as I say these things. This tugs at the strings of my heart. We have all played 'house' as little children. I have known my entire life I wanted to be a Mom. I have prayed for these children long before they were born. And although they absolutely drive me crazy, push my buttons, and make me want to pull out my hair, they have stolen my every desire for myself. You want everything to be about them. You'd spend every penny on them. You'd drop everything you were doing to comfort them, kiss their scraped knee, and pick them up when they were down.

I can't help it. These moments I can't get back. They will never be this little again. In a few years, friends will be more of a priority than me. I have one life on this earth to live. And having children changes things. It changes perspective and priorities.

 And that smile is priceless.

Well now since I am posting this a few weeks later than I thought I would, I am excited for his last game this Saturday and it sounds like he is ready to give basketball a try with a camp this summer. Ava even said she would be ready to try t-ball next year. I'm ready to bounce between games on those early summer days!