Some of you may remember that last year Austin was signed up for T-ball. He went to all the practices and unfortunately the week before his first game, he jumped off a high area and fell in such a way to break his collar bone. Being the highly educated medical professional that I am, I made him wait a whole week before getting an x-ray. Sure enough, broken clavicle. Darn it. No games for Austin.
This year, we looked forward to t-ball with even more anticipation. He went to all the practices and an extra baseball clinic to get ready. His first game was this last Saturday. (oops, wrote this blog post quite a few weeks ago and now it's almost time for his last game!!)
He was all smiles. He put on his uniform and hat and was very excited. I was ecstatic as well. These are my first moments of cheering on your little one. Proud parent moment for sure.
Austin was put on first base right away in the first inning and actually stopped the ball when it came his way. Impressive to me right? Like every time he stops it, I shout.
And even though the ball is on the tee and they get as many hits as they want, he hits it and I shout again. 'Way to go Austin!" "That's my buddy!" And it continues, 'great job' , 'good stop!', On and on and I could have cared less if any of the other parents thought I was annoying. Another reason we brought our own chairs and didn't sit in the bleachers. I don't want to blow anyone's ear drums. Ava sat in between Grandma and I, and she was also an awesome cheerleader. She shouted "yay Austin' in between large bites of Big League Chew bubble gum. She ate more candy in one sitting than I did. And that's impressive.
Grandpa continued to check on Austin in the dug out. He brought him Gatorade, made sure he had on the right helmet at the right time, and bugged the coaches. Not surprised that at one point they told my Dad to go sit down. (I can't stop laughing as I type this). That's my Dad!!
I know one thing and that's the fact that I have a strong feeling about not wanting to miss out on many of his games. I don't want to miss out on seeing those smiles. I don't want to miss one opportunity where I get to be my kid's biggest cheerleader. I don't want to miss his first home run, or his first big catch that wins the game. I want him to stare right at me when he runs into home base. I want him to see my face and know that I am right there.
This easily hits me right in the throat. I have instant tears in my eyes as I say these things. This tugs at the strings of my heart. We have all played 'house' as little children. I have known my entire life I wanted to be a Mom. I have prayed for these children long before they were born. And although they absolutely drive me crazy, push my buttons, and make me want to pull out my hair, they have stolen my every desire for myself. You want everything to be about them. You'd spend every penny on them. You'd drop everything you were doing to comfort them, kiss their scraped knee, and pick them up when they were down.
I can't help it. These moments I can't get back. They will never be this little again. In a few years, friends will be more of a priority than me. I have one life on this earth to live. And having children changes things. It changes perspective and priorities.
And that smile is priceless.
Well now since I am posting this a few weeks later than I thought I would, I am excited for his last game this Saturday and it sounds like he is ready to give basketball a try with a camp this summer. Ava even said she would be ready to try t-ball next year. I'm ready to bounce between games on those early summer days!
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